


The Adventures of Robin Joe and His Merry Men

by SpaceShaolin



Category: Teen Top (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 02:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6404314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceShaolin/pseuds/SpaceShaolin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or: How Friar C.A.P. and Red-Haired Chunji Learned to Stop Fighting and Go Stag Instead</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventures of Robin Joe and His Merry Men

They first met him hanging by a thread, quite literally, dangling from a noose a couple of feet above the ground. He’s waving at them frantically, and Niel, being the helpful guy that he is, moved to get him down. But he was immediately met with resistance.

“Wait!” Ricky cried, grabbing his arm. “What if he’s a criminal? We can’t help criminals.”

“What are you talking about?” Niel answered, incredulous. “ _We’re_ criminals.”

“Yeah, but we’re the good guys.”

Because Ricky’s logic made no sense, Niel shook free of his hold and moved towards the tree.

Ricky grabbed Niel and tried again. “Maybe he did something really bad.”

“Or maybe he did it to himself,” Changjo added. “We shouldn’t interfere in suicide attempts. That’s bad karma for you if you do.”

The statement gave Niel pause. “What’s karma?”

“I don’t know, but it sounds delicious,” Ricky said.

Taking the reappearance of Ricky's stunning lack of logic as his cue, Niel once again, shook free of his hold and moved towards the tree.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Ricky said to the struggling man in the noose. “I’m Ricky, nice to meet you!”

“Stupid.” Niel slapped his head. “Can’t you see he’s stuck in a noose?”

Above them, the man’s entire body started convulsing. Changjo took note of this and chomped down on his apple. “Whatever you guys are planning to do, you better do it fast. I don’t think he has much time left.”

“Why don’t you do it then, if you’re so concerned!”

“Stop talking, Ricky!”

“… I think I swallowed a worm.”

Suddenly, the body fell to the ground behind them, forcing their one-sided conversations to a halt. They looked up at the tree and laid eyes on C.A.P., perched on one of the branches. He tossed them a lazy smirk while twirling his knife in his hands. “You guys are taking way too long. Get back to camp and take that guy with you.” He yawned and stretched his limbs before jumping off the tree. Then, he paused and took a long, considering look at the man he’d just freed. Deeming the matter officially taken care of, he grabbed Changjo’s apple and strolled back into the forest.

Ricky was the first to move towards their new friend, who was sitting up and gasping for breath. He stuck out his hand. “I’m Ricky, what’s your name?”

* * *

His name was Chunji and in spite of the group’s varied theories, he claimed his impromptu hanging had been an accident. “Pure bad luck,” he explained. “Wrong place, wrong time. You know.”

He looked around at the group and realization began to dawn on his face. “Hey, wait a minute!” Chunji pointed a finger at their leader. “You’re L. Joe!”

“Wow, you’re famous,” Ricky said in admiration.

“And you’re Ricky!”

“Wow, I’m famous!” Ricky said in admiration.

“Only because you introduced yourself about thirty times since we met the guy.” Niel whacked the self-admiration out of the other boy’s head. “I’m Niel, that’s Changjo, and the lazy bum there is C.A.P.”

“The lazy bum that saved his life,” C.A.P. drawled. “You owe me a life debt now.”

Chunji gasped, almost offended. “I do not!”

“Hey, I don’t like this guy so much,” C.A.P. said and looked towards L. Joe. “Why did we bring him back here again?”

“That’s ‘cause you told us to, you bum.”

C.A.P. picked up a pebble and chucked it at Niel.

“Don’t listen to them,” L. Joe said to Chunji. “You can stay with us, if you like.”

“As if I have any other place to go,” Chunji answered. “Thanks for the offer. I’ll take you up on it.”

They shook hands.

“Hey.” C.A.P. squinted at Chunji. “Your hair’s red.”

“And you’re bald,” came the smooth response. “What’s your point?”

The three youngest members chortled and exchanged high-fives.

“He can stay!” Niel declared and gave Chunji a thumbs-up.

C.A.P. scowled and scanned the ground for more loose pebbles to throw at Niel, but because Changjo had moved them all out of the way, C.A.P. came up empty. He settled for crossing his arms and glowering at Chunji instead. Chunji replied by sticking out his tongue. L. Joe sighed, already beginning to feel his stress levels building up.

L. Joe put his hands together to pray. "I ask for food and you give me another mouth to feed. Why do you always screw these things up?"

Changjo picked up a loose pebble from the pile he'd gathered from C.A.P. and threw it at L. Joe in response.

* * *

On the night of his third raid with the gang, Chunji is taught a valuable lesson in basic life preservation. It happened on his way back home from a successful night out with everyone, minus C.A.P. and Ricky – who, for some reason, had opted to stay back at the marketplace. With just the four of them on the abandoned street that night, they must have looked like easy pickings for other rival gangs. So it was that Chunji found himself cornered with the others by a group of six other thieves.

“Well, well,” the obvious leader said. “Lookit here, boys. It’s L. Joe and his rotten crew of troublemakers.” His gaze landed on Chunji. “Here’s a new member. Don’t believe I’ve seen you ‘round here before neither.”

“Our new member is Chunji,” L. Joe said and strode out to meet their leader. “Not that you’d care to remember anyway.”

“Relax,” Niel whispered to Chunji, who felt himself tensing at the threat. 

L. Joe cleared his throat and shrugged casually, his pose radiating cool confidence. “But how rude of you to not recognize my two other members as well. Especially since one of them's got the scariest pair of lips I've ever seen on a guy.”

"Relax," Chunji whispered to Niel, who had begun tensing at the taunt.

“Ah, how could we forget,” said one of the thieves. “That’s Niel, the miller’s son, that is. Ran away from home to be a pansy chef.”

“Smart guy,” Niel said, exchanging a look with L. Joe. He also glared at their leader for good measure, silently promising revenge for that crack about his lips.

“And I know who that big one is!” exclaimed another thief. “Only he didn’t used to be that big before, huh?”

“Hey, shut up already, we know who he is,” the leader ordered, whirling around so fast to reprimand his dumbass member. But he was not able to stop him in time, as his dumbass member was so eager to finally show off his street knowledge.

“Don’t tell me to shut up!” he said. “You never let me talk and intimidate the other guys like you do. It’s not fair!”

“I said shut up, if you know what’s good for you!”

"How would you know what's good for me, huh?" The dumbass thief refused to listen to reason. "You're not my dad!"

The other members were already starting to look at each other worriedly.

The dumbass thief turned back to Changjo. “You used to be so little too, with them cute, puffy cheeks –”

“Oh my god,” Niel said, and that was the only warning they got before Changjo went berserk.

Changjo roared and charged towards the dumbass thief, knocking him down effectively with a superb right hook. The rest of the thieves hastily made their retreat, no longer caring that they lost to L. Joe’s gang again. But they weren't able to get very far before Changjo caught up and inflicted his unholy rage upon them.

“And that,” L. Joe announced. “Is why we never use the L-word with Changjo around.”

“He hates being reminded of how cute he used to look,” Niel said. “C.A.P. learned that the hard way.”

“Oh, I think I like Changjo more now,” Chunji said, a wide smirk taking over his face.

L. Joe nodded in approval at his youngest member’s display of physical prowess. “He used to be called ‘Little.’ And even then, he was already pretty big for his age.”

“That’s our boy Changjo,” Niel said. “One of these days, he’ll be able to take on a bear by himself and win.”

“Shouldn’t we help them out?” Chunji asked. “This is almost manslaughter.”

The other two members watched Changjo pummel the other gang into dust. “… Nah.”

“Hey, guys!” Ricky called from behind them. “What’d we miss – aww, don’t tell me!” He looked towards the other members, who were nonchalantly watching the carnage unfold. "Did they?"

“They did,” L. Joe confirmed.

Ricky slapped his forehead. “Aww, man!”

Beside him, C.A.P. whipped out his prayer beads and began mumbling to himself.

“I think it’s too late to start praying for those guys.” Niel frowned.

C.A.P. opened an eye and grinned. “Nah. This one’s for Changjo.”

* * *

These days, all L. Joe wanted to do was sleep. Leading a gang of noisy boys who refused to listen to each other would make an old man out of anyone, which, if L. Joe thought about it, was the only explanation that made sense. He must be getting advanced in age after all, he mused, if he found himself craving for sleep every four hours. That would certainly explain C.A.P.

He adjusted his form to make himself more comfortable against the tree behind him and finally prepared to nod off to sleep. But the universe had other plans.

"L. Joe!"

Chunji strode into the tree grove, planted himself in front of L. Joe, and tossed a heavy book in between his legs.

L. Joe sighed and looked up. “What is it now?”

Chunji crossed his arms, pointing his nose into the air. “Look,” he ordered. “Look at it.”

“It’s a cookbook,” L. Joe said, taking an uninterested glance at the cover. “Give it to Niel.” He prepared to go back to sleep again, but the other man would not stop talking.

“It _is_ Niel’s. Guess who it’s from.”

“Look, I don’t really care, I just want to –”

“It’s from C.A.P.”

“Good for him. Now would you please leave me alone?”

Chunji threw his hands to the air and gave an almighty sigh to the heavens. Ignoring L. Joe’s unimpressed stare, he sat down on the ground in a huff and flipped the book open to a random page. L. Joe peered down at the open book.

“It’s a girl.”

“It’s a _naked_ girl.”

“On a cookbook?”

“It’s C.A.P.’s.”

“Nothing new there.” L. Joe shrugged and leaned back into his tree again.

“He’s given it to Niel!”

“Talk to Niel about it then!”

“He’s corrupting the kids!”

“His religion is a bit...” L. Joe looked to a nearby tree for help. Hesitated for a half-second, then snapped his fingers when he found it. “Unorthodox. He’s unorthodox.”

“Unorthodox is right,” Chunji said. “Do you know he takes Ricky with him to the market sometimes? _In the evenings?_ ”

“What those two do in the market is none of my business.”

“It should be, when it’s obvious they’re only there to pick up women.”

“Ricky’s a growing boy. I don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”

“He’s a bad influence!”

“He’s not _that_ bad.”

“He’s a lazy pervert! What does he actually contribute to this team, tell me that.”

“He’s got a lot of worldly experience.”

“Why do you keep defending that guy!”

L. Joe considered this question carefully and thought back to his first meeting with C.A.P. This had taken place inside a jail cell and although he hadn't exactly wanted to befriend anyone then, L. Joe didn't have much of a choice if he wanted to get out. It also helped that the two convicts had been chained together at the time, for economic reasons. So, with a well-hidden ladies' hairpin ("They never,  _never_ learn to check down there." C.A.P. winked) and excellent timing, the two successfully busted themselves out of jail. Once they were safe in the forest, however, C.A.P. admitted that he had nowhere else to go. So, the obvious, logical choice was for them to stick together until something better presented itself.

Of course, the fact that they were still chained together helped convince the two to be friends. But since then, they had been inseparable, even if their friendship had been born out of necessity and sheer laziness to explore other options.

But L. Joe wanted to impress Chunji, so he told him instead: “We go way back.”

“I still don’t like him.”

“You don’t have to. You can always talk to me if you like.”

“C.A.P. is such a horrible person. How did someone like him become a friar anyway?”

L. Joe frowned. “Actually, I don’t think he’s ever talked to me about that part of his life. Maybe the priesthood just wasn’t for him.”

“But he still poses as a friar anyway.” Chunji scoffed. “I don’t get what you see in the guy.”

“He’s a friend,” L. Joe answered. “A little unorthodox, but a friend.”

“Hey!”

Both men looked up and upon laying eyes on the newcomer, L. Joe groaned, now realizing that any chance of getting his beauty rest had officially gone to the dogs.

C.A.P. shoved Chunji aside and swiped the book off the ground. “I don’t like the new guy,” he informed L. Joe.

“You’ve said.”

“He keeps looking through my things.” He paused to glare at Chunji. “My _private_ things.”

Chunji rolled his eyes. “You gave it to Niel, so it’s not yours anymore. And someone has to keep you from corrupting the children.” He glared at L. Joe, who in turn, glared up at the gods for robbing him of his sleep.

“Keep your nostrils away from my things.” C.A.P. jabbed a finger at Chunji’s impassive face. “And you,” he said, turning back to L. Joe. “Get rid of this guy already. _Please._ ”

"I don't know what I did to make you mad, but I really wish you'd give me better friends." L. Joe looked up in reverent prayer. "Or you could just give me my beauty sleep already so I don't have to hear them talk all the time."

An insulted pebble from Chunji was his only answer.

* * *

“You know they call you Robin Joe at the village?” Chunji said.

L. Joe made a face. “Don’t remind me. I hate that nickname.”

“Meanwhile, the rest of us are known as your group of Merry Men.”

“Which is false, because you guys are rarely merry.”

“Robbing the rich and giving to the poor. Everyone thinks you’re doing a good thing.”

“I don’t see what’s so good about hiding in the forest and living away from everyone else.”

“It’s a statement.” Chunji shrugged. “People love statements.”

L. Joe took a swig from his jug. “Only if they’re not the ones making them.”

* * *

One day, they are invited to attend an upcoming festival to be held in the village plaza. A sports competition was the festival's main event, which excited everyone. But because the King was the event’s official sponsor, the gang was understandably skeptical.

“Can we go join this L. Joe please, please, _pleeease._ ” Ricky shoved the advertisement in L. Joe’s face in an effort to convince him.

“I don’t know.” He rubbed his chin. “What’s in it for us?”

“The pleasure of actually getting to participate in something worthwhile?”

C.A.P. scoffed. “Lame.”

“It says here you get to win the Maiden,” Niel said, reading the advertisement.

C.A.P. looked up. “Marriage?”

“No, just a date.”

C.A.P. closed his eyes. “Lame.”

“What a useless prize,” L. Joe said. “Physical traits shouldn’t be a woman’s only qualification for a date.”

Changjo stopped polishing his staff and snorted. “You’re just saying that ‘cause you suck at sports.”

“Hey, that was _one_ time.”

“Let’s go wrestling again. Come on, I challenge you. Chicken.”

Insults, however, did not work on L. Joe – especially insults that came from Changjo. L. Joe had long decided not to take anything Changjo said seriously, because the boy liked to play dirty and only challenged people he knew he could beat.

“That’s not going to prove anything,” L. Joe said. "Besides, how do we know they're not inviting us to set us up?"

"Come on, it'll be fun," Ricky said. "What's the use of being an outlaw if we can't make ourselves look like easy targets for the law and still be able to get away with it?"

“If I win, we go to the event,” Changjo said, unrelenting in his challenge. “If I lose, I’ll do anything you want for three days. And we don’t go to the event.”

“I told you to drop it.”

“Chicken.”

But dammit, L. Joe was still a man, wasn’t he? He refused to let his pride suffer because he was too chicken to face his junior.

 _“What did you say?”_ he growled, low in his throat, and glared threateningly.

“Oh, you heard me.”

“Kid, someone’s got to teach you some manners,” he said, rolling up his sleeves.

* * *

They ended up attending the town festival. 

Ricky bit down into his snack happily and nodded approvingly at Changjo. “You’re the best. Seriously.”

Behind them, L. Joe was grumbling under his breath, while C.A.P., who was as grumpy as he was, was scowling at everyone to make his displeasure known. 

“Could have just stayed back home to sleep,” their friar muttered.

“Never arm-wrestling with that guy again,” their leader answered.

Chunji was looking around at the plaza, unimpressed. “They don’t even bother to make it different from last year. It’s always the same booths run by the same people. I honestly don’t get the appeal.”

“You think too much.” Ricky shrugged and offered some of his snacks to Chunji in an effort to make him lighten up.

It didn’t work, but Chunji took some anyway. “And aren’t we wanted by the guards? Are you sure we can just waltz in here without disguising ourselves?”

“See, that was my point exactly!” L. Joe said from the back. But because everyone decided to ignore what Niel had officially dubbed the 'Bad Vibes Line,' nobody acknowledged this comment.

Changjo slung an arm around Chunji. “The fun part of being an outlaw like us is that you get to do whatever you want and not care about the consequences. It’s why we’re outlaws in the first place,” he explained. “Like how Niel here ran away from home, because he wanted to be a professional chef instead of getting stuck with his dad's milling business. Or like how Ricky used to be a minstrel, but only joined us because he wanted to improve his street cred.”

“What street cred?” Niel asked and was promptly shoved by Ricky for his trouble.

“So how did you join the group?” Chunji asked.

Changjo shrugged. “I was bored.”

“Changjo is useless,” Niel said and was shoved again by Ricky. “So is C.A.P.”

Ricky shoved Niel a third time, but it was only to make him duck from an angry pebble that came flying from the back. And so, the talking ban on the Bad Vibes Line was lifted, leaving everyone to split up and have fun on their own.

* * *

Ricky was still hungry. So, he grabbed Niel, who grabbed Chunji, and dragged them off to the food section of the festival. It was heaven for Ricky, but also for Niel, who'd found a bunch of cooking utensils he could use back at their forest home.

"What's that for?" Chunji asked. "You don't need a rolling pin."

Niel considered this. "That's right," he said. "I could always get C.A.P. to roll the flour for me anyway."

"Never mind, just take it," Chunji said, shoving the rolling pin into Niel's clothes so that no one would see.

"What are you doing?" Niel exclaimed and brought the rolling pin back out into the open. "What do you think I am, a thief?  I brought money for this, just so you know."

"You're a one of a kind outlaw, Niel," Chunji marveled.

"Unlike some other people here," Niel said. "I was not raised in a barn."

Ricky heard the comment and marched over to the pair, his clothes almost bursting with the various snacks and cooking utensils he'd stolen from several booths. "Go ahead, keep talking like that." Ricky sniffed. "See if I steal stuff for you ever again."

Niel peered down into the stash Ricky hid within his clothes and shrugged. "On the other hand," he said to Chunji. "People born in a barn really do have the slickest hands."

"It's because cow udders get sticky sometimes," Ricky explained. 

"I don't really think slick hands have anything to do with cow udders," Chunji said, before quickly steering the two into a side alley. A few seconds later, an irate shopkeeper stomped down the road they'd just been standing on earlier.

"Whoever stole that last rolling pin is really gonna pay for it!" he yelled. "And I mean that literally  _and_ figuratively!" 

Chunji and Ricky turned to Niel, who was still holding onto the rolling pin. He grinned at them. "Guess we'll just have to find something else to spend my money on."

* * *

“Where’s C.A.P.?” Changjo asked, looking around.

L. Joe grunted. “Went back home to sleep. Lucky him.”

But Changjo had stopped listening the minute he laid eyes on the wrestling event. Being one to never turn down an opportunity to show off his masculinity, he made a beeline for the pit.

“You’re wasting your time, Changjo!”

“Hey!” One of the wrestlers looked up at the approaching duo, his gaze focusing on L. Joe. “Aren’t you too little to be joining in?”

“On second thought…” L. Joe shrugged and watched Changjo unleash chaos on the rest of the participants.

* * *

The three remaining members were not able to have much fun for much longer, because Chunji had been identified by a pair of palace guards. Things got out of control quickly, and before the three outlaws knew it, they had what looked like an entire battalion of guards hot on their heels.

“See, what I don’t understand is –” Chunji stopped to throw cooking utensils at their pursuers. “What I don’t understand is, why they recognized me and not you guys.”

“Maybe you did something really bad.” Niel hesitated before throwing a kettle he'd almost stolen. “Did you do something really bad?”

“I might have.”

“Who cares about that now?” Ricky said, upturning tables and throwing the items from his hidden stash. “We have to get into the forest! We can lose them there.”

“That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said all day.” Niel took out his rolling pin and began to wave it menacingly in the air. None of the palace guards dared to come closer.

"My rolling pin!" the shopkeeper cried. "You stole my rolling pin!"

But before he could approach Niel, Ricky steamrolled past the poor shopkeeper, instantly knocking him down to the ground. Ricky upturned several tables in his warpath and caused general chaos with expert ease. This was, after all, another chance to show off one of his many talents and he was enjoying every minute of it. 

It got to be so bad, that some of the palace guards who were chasing after Ricky had to call a hasty retreat, as the flying utensils were giving them some very vivid flashbacks of their angry wives back home. Thus, only the younger and stupider guards were left to run after the three outlaws into the forest. 

* * *

L. Joe instinctively looked up at the noise, and because he recognized the sounds of angry palace guards anywhere, he did not need to look twice to confirm his hunch.

“Changjo, we’re leaving. Let’s go.”

Changjo stared up at him from the pile of wrestlers he obliterated and pouted. “Can’t we stay a bit? This is the most fun I’ve had in a while. You and C.A.P. aren’t very good at –”

A loud roar from the palace guards behind them interrupted his retort.

Changjo glanced at L. Joe. “Let’s go.”

* * *

“What did you do, what did you do, _what did you do?!_ ” Niel yelled, ducking to avoid a wild axe swing.

“Nothing important, let’s go!” Chunji picked him up by the collar and dragged him to make him run faster.

Behind them, Ricky was wildly swinging the only remaining weapon left in his arsenal – his harp – at the remaining palace guards on their trail. He was right in predicting that they would lose half of them in the forest, because most of them had gone the other way upon spotting L. Joe and Changjo. Both of them looked like they had things under control on their side, while Ricky succeeded on smashing three heads at the same time. Even then, he couldn’t wipe the distressed look off his face as soon as he caught up with the other two.

“I broke my harp,” he whined, holding the broken pieces for both men to see.

“I’ll make L. Joe steal you a new one.” Niel shattered another guard’s nose with his rolling pin.

“I’ll never be able to sing again.”

“Don’t you just need your voice to do that?”

“My voice is but an insignificant instrument compared to this lovely harp.”

“What are you talking about, you’re a great singer.”

“You’re not a musician, you wouldn’t understand my pain. Oh, woe. I’d make a song for this experience, but alas! My harp has broken, like my dreams.”

“Oh quit being so melodramatic,” Niel said. “You said that when you broke your fourth harp.”

“Ah, my poor fourth harp.” Seeing that he wasn’t going to get any sympathy from Niel, Ricky turned to Chunji and began to moan again. “She was named Betty Sue. I name all my harps.”

“He’s crazy,” Niel mouthed at Chunji.

“Shut up, you uncultured peasant,” Ricky said. “A musician’s pain is never understood.”

“What was the name of this harp?” Chunji dared to ask.

“Her name was Letty Sue.” Ricky bowed his head. “Now shut up, all of you, I’m offering a moment of silence for my dead.”

“Cra-zy.” Niel rolled his eyes to further drive the point home.

Chunji offered the minstrel a sympathetic glance and ran deeper into the forest, even though the palace guards had already given up the chase long ago.

* * *

“What I want to know is,” Niel said, biting off a piece of bread Changjo had managed to steal from the market. “How did those guards know Chunji and what the heck did you do to piss them off so much?”

Chunji sniffed dramatically. “I suppose the time has come for me to reveal my past to all of you.”

“Yeah, ‘cause we’re all just dying to know.” C.A.P. rolled his eyes. “Bet you did something stupid anyway, like break some girl’s heart or something.”

“Shut up and let the man talk,” Ricky said and threw a broken piece of Letty Sue at C.A.P.

“You see, I…” Chunji cleared his throat. “I killed the King’s prize stag.”

He looked up and found everyone staring at him in surprise.

"I was hungry, okay!"

“You…” Niel, as always, was the first to react. “You did _what?_ ”

“Isn’t that… you know,” Ricky said, eyes wide. _“Illegal?”_

“Well, that certainly explains the palace guards,” Changjo said and flicked Ricky’s forehead.

"And why you found me hanging on the noose," Chunji said. "The guards were stupid and left me alone when they heard you coming."

“I don’t get why you’re so ashamed about it, though,” L. Joe said. “It’s not a really big deal.”

C.A.P. nodded and was looking at Chunji with a new kind of admiration in his eyes. “Yeah, I think it’s actually pretty cool.”

Chunji looked around, confused. “Wait, you mean you guys don’t care?”

“’Course not,” Niel said. “Why would we? We are outlaws for a reason, after all.”

“But I thought you were just doing this thing for fun!”

“Well, that too,” C.A.P. said.

“I accidentally killed my puppy once,” Changjo said. “Does that count?”

“We’re all outlaws because we did some stupid things in the past,” L. Joe said, ignoring Changjo. “Who are we to judge you?”

“Not me,” Ricky said. “I am but a poor, innocent minstrel. You guys are the real criminals here.”

“Shut up, Ricky,” Niel said.

Ricky threw another piece of Letty Sue at him in retaliation.

“Seriously though, you’re really not that special,” Changjo said in what was meant to be a comforting manner. “So stop looking so down about it already.”

“Shut up, man, you’re only making it worse,” Ricky said.

“Killing the King’s stag was actually really ballsy,” Niel said, looking up from the broken Letty Sue he was trying to piece back together. He had finally taken mercy on Ricky and agreed to fix his harp if it would get him to shut up. “I’m with C.A.P. on this one.”

Chunji shrugged hopelessly. “I really don’t know. Now I almost feel bad for hanging out with you guys like this.”

“I’ve always wanted to eat stag,” Ricky said, his mouth already watering. “I bet it tastes good.”

“Ricky, if you want me to fix your stupid harp, then will you _please_ shut up already so I can concentrate.”

Ricky shut up.

* * *

“I still don’t understand why you’re so hung up on this,” L. Joe said.

“It’s just…” Chunji sighed. “Compared to what you guys went through, my offense seems pretty serious.”

“Says who?” L. Joe scoffed. “They arrested me for stealing bread – which I only did to give to this hungry kid. They almost chopped off a hand for it too. If C.A.P. hadn’t busted me out, who knows what would have happened.”

“Maybe I was just worried you'd treat me differently if you knew. I did almost die.”

“That’s stupid. Why would we do that? I told you already, we’re not in any position to judge anyone.” He paused and looked over at Chunji. “Maybe it’s time you let go of that image you love to protect so much.”

Chunji laughed. “Oh, believe me, there was no more image left the moment Niel and the others found me on that tree.”

L. Joe chuckled. “That’s good. Stay with us long enough, and you’ll see that images aren’t really worth it in the end.”

Chunji directed his gaze behind his friend, his sight landing on Changjo shoving Ricky's face into the ground, while Niel and C.A.P. stood by making bets. “I can see what you mean.”

* * *

The next day found C.A.P. strolling into camp with a dead deer draped across his shoulders.

He walked up to the dumbfounded gang and unceremoniously dropped his kill in front of the others. “Niel, cook this and make it good,” he said cheerfully. “We’re having stag for the week, courtesy of me.”

Ricky immediately ran over to the carcass, ooh-ing and ahh-ing all the while, and proclaiming C.A.P.’s genius for all to hear.

But Niel remained unimpressed with the kill and began scrutinizing him for other things. “What time did you wake up this morning just to do this?”

“Shut up and do what I tell you.”

C.A.P. caught Chunji staring at him and turned to face him. “What, you thought I was gonna let you have all the fun?” He laughed and sat down. “I wanted to get in on the stag-killing action too.”

“Which you did by killing _another_ of the King’s prize stags,” L. Joe said. “Great job. At this rate, we’ll never hear the end of it from that guy.”

“Quit being a worrywart and get with the program, would you,” C.A.P. said. “We’re outlaws for a reason.”

“I’m going to kill a stag too,” Ricky declared. “Changjo will help me.”

“No way, I’m going to kill a bear.”

“We’re all going to kill something, so quit feeling like you’re so special just ‘cause you did it first,” C.A.P. said to Chunji, who was already beginning to forgive C.A.P. for his past transgressions. “Okay? So you stuff that attitude or else you’ll end up like L. Joe here. Leader of a gang of outlaws and unable to see the perks. That’s not an example you want to follow.”

L. Joe picked up the newly-restored Letty Sue and flung it at C.A.P.

Ricky flung himself at L. Joe.

Changjo flung himself at them, because he didn't like being left out of the fun. 

Everyone else stood by and started making bets.

All was right with the world.

* * *

That is, all was right with the world until the day Changjo strolled into camp, dragging a bear’s carcass behind him. He was panting from the effort, but his smile was radiant enough to light a dozen households. Since then, everything devolved into a useless competition of who could kill what among the members.

Everyone, that is, except Niel.

"I would like to propose a ban on killing random animals," he announced. "Unless the hunters actually try to help with the cooking, instead of leaving me to do all the work." Here, Niel gave a pointed glance to each of his members. They all looked away in various directions.

"L. Joe!" Niel said, frustrated. "You're the leader here. Do something about this!"

L. Joe put down the dead bird he'd been cleaning. "Do something about what?"

"I give up!"

"I can give you another cookbook, if you want," C.A.P. called after Niel. 

"Oh no, you don't," Chunji said and picked up Letty Sue to throw at C.A.P.

"Will you stop picking on my Letty Sue!" Ricky said and charged at Chunji.

"I said to stop leaving me out of the fun!" Changjo rushed at the three other members.

"I know I said to give me some rest," L. Joe prayed, feeling at total peace with the world while removing his dead bird's feathers. "But I guess this is okay too."

The sun shone brightly and the forest was soon filled with the shrieks of laughing boys. The gods seemed appeased. L. Joe wouldn't have it any other way.

All was right with the world.


End file.
